In the past and even currently, we focus on raising the girlchild to be a good cook, home keeper, submissive etc just so that she can be a good wife, mother and woman. We even go as far as teaching her ways to defend herself in the case of sexual harassment from the opposite sex.
We teach her how to talk to a man, what to do to please him and win his heart, how to support him in providing for the home.
Now, she is even prepared to handle an abusive relationship, a cheating husband or an absentee husband and father and how to cope, because that's what a 'good and submissive' woman would do, right?
Because of all of this preparation, she would do as is expected of her without which, society will 'chop' her in pieces. If she expects 100% commitment and responsibility from her husband or partner, she will be seen as being too demanding.
Her life is centered around him and his. She is his possession. He feels proud that he owns her and therefore she can only do as he wants.
If she is unfortunate to come in contact with an abuser (and she most likely will), her life comes to a standstill because this boy/man wasn't taught a lot of 'how to's' concerning her.
She can't pursue her dreams because he is insecure. He doesn't know what it means to be a responsible and faithful husband neither does he understand what it means to be committed to his family.
He wasn't taught what his strength is for so he abuses her at the slightest provocation.
He wasn't taught how to lead himself so leading others is strange to him. He becomes stubborn and defensive when his authority is questioned. So he winds his fists to show his strength.
He wasn't taught about loving and caring so he doesn't know how to show it.
He was told that crying is a sign of weakness so he doesn't understand how to show his vulnerability and to ask for help when he is at a crossroad because he was told that he has it all figured out.
He thinks that asking for help is meant for the helpless ones which in this case are the women. So he sees her as a weak and needy person. He doesn't understand that her being 'weak' is not literal but a figure of speech. So he feels threatened when she seems to be doing 'better' than him.
This is even worse if she is his wife. He wants her to be completely weak and dependent on him to prove his lordship over her. At this point, if she tries to do anything for herself or by herself, she's seen as being stubborn, disrespectful, and all you can think of.
Today, strong women are seen as a threat to the existence of some men. So women are advised to play low on their dreams and aspirations so as not to scare the men away.
This is all as a result of untrained boys who grew into men.
Raising the boychild is not going to be by chance but by being intentional.
When we raise the boychild with a consciousness that someday, he will be a husband, father and the head of a home, he will do better.
Today and onward, let's raise not only girls into awesome and loving women/wives but also, let's raise balanced boys/men so that we can have a better society.
Please do leave a comment below and let me read your thoughts too.
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